We got the Senate audit report

And it says — no joke — that Biden won

The Arizona Senate is set to release its report on the Maricopa County 2020 election audit tomorrow, but we got our hands on a copy early. 

Volume 1: Executive Summary and Recommendations

Volume 2: Methodology and Operations

Volume 3: Results Details

There are allegedly multiple draft copies floating around among the local and national press corps, including, we hear, separate drafts with different verbiage. (The copies we have are clearly drafts, as they include wrong page numbers, missing pages and watermarks declaring them draft copies.) But the different drafts we’ve heard about all come to the same conclusion: Joe Biden won Arizona.

Except the report doesn’t explicitly say he won. Instead, it claims the hand recount shows Biden got more votes than Donald Trump (what is democracy if not the person with the most votes won?), while continuing to throw out unfounded accusations of various nefarious acts.

In fact, the audit claims Biden actually won with a larger margin than the county had previously tallied. Trump lost 261 votes in the Cyber Ninjas hand recount of all 2.1 million ballots cast in the county, while Biden picked up 99 votes in the recount.

We were supposed to be working our side hustle right now, but we dropped everything to bring you this report. Please consider subscribing for just $7 per month so we can continue to bring you scoops and perhaps even quit our side gigs.

Still, Cyber Ninjas recommends a host of legislative reforms to tighten up the laws around elections “to provide additional certainty to elections going forward.”

We’re not going to vet every claim the audit report makes here — there will be plenty of time for that in future editions. 

But we wanted to get this into our readers’ hands as soon as possible. Read up, and prepare for our bingo challenge during tomorrow’s hearing, which starts at 1 p.m. We’ll send links to our bingo cards tomorrow. 

For what it’s worth, Senate attorney Kory Langhofer refused to confirm or deny that the report was real. He said there is no final report.

Senate President Karen Fann did not return a call for comment.

One final note: While we have some concern that this is all an epic troll, that auditors created a fake document to show that the liberal and biased press is willing to jump at anything to discredit the audit, we think that’s probably giving the auditors too much credit. Our sources say this is the report — perhaps not the final version, but a late draft. The topline findings shouldn’t deviate from this too much, they said.